Funny how you leave the one that was so hard to be left. You finally collect your thoughts and realize they aren't meant to be with you. You love them but they are turning you into the person you do not want to be. You become moody, frustrated, confused, and short-tempered. Everyday becomes filled with tears of misery. You try for so long to escape the pain and leave them behind. One day you do it. You leave. You feel free, better, excited. You want to live. Everyday becomes an adventure. You, for once, determine your own mood. You are the keeper of your happiness.
After a while, you try to move on, date other people. You finally meet him.
He is beautiful. He makes you smile, and he seems to know just the thing to say to make your day better. He isn't the corny kind of sweet- the sincere kind.
He knows of the pain you have experienced in your past. You are scared to let him in. Scared to lower the huge wall you've created. But after a while you let him in. Your scared but its perfect. Just the way you always wanted it to be. Your magic. You feel as if its your turn. Its your turn to experience a nice person. Then as soon as you lower your wall and let him in. He betrays you. He hurts you, after knowing how bad you've been hurt before. It makes you feel... like their all the same.
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Oh honey I've been there.
ReplyDeleteWith me it's like something doesn't fit; someone's giving too much or too little, or it's the wrong time, or neither of us can figure out what the other one wants.
In high school most people are jerks, girls and guys, I can tell you that right now. There are some exceptions, though. But mostly....some very horrible people.
I just remember taht I'll be graduating soon, then I won't have to see nobody I know here anymore. No more awkward stares in the hallway, no more pretending that I was never hurt just to cut down on the drama. Course when I get to college, it will end up that way anyway...with my luck. Ah well.
wow I just kinda rambled there....
yeahh.
ReplyDeleteIt's like people always want you but not the commitment. I hate that. Im not going to be with someone on their terms.. maybe one day we will find someone above all the childish crap.
Agreed.
ReplyDeleteI find that I can really identify with this. I'm sick of the crap of exes and the memories they leave behind. It makes me cynical and skeptical, and that's not me. I love people. I used to love letting people in. And now, with each guy, that love has been knocked down more and more. It's quite sad...
[great writing by the way lol]
I have a really hard time letting go of my past, and I've never really forgiven the first guy that hurt me. So, I built back that infamous wall that every girl has. But like you said, the first time you let someone else back in, the betray you just the same. And that damned wall gets taller and taller everytime it's rebuilt.
ReplyDelete[Well writen, my friend]