High School Heartbreak

Summer 2007

Love. Love. Love. It’s all we see and hear about. In our time, it’s all about love. Someone wants it, trys to find it, or is hurt from it. With my own personal experience I believe its something more than infatuation. I believe its knowing you would cause yourself pain, to see them happy. I believe heartache really is a pain that you feel so deep within your chest that you must take a deep breathe and tell yourself everything will be alright. Love should remind you everyday to smile, and wake up happy. Love should be the excitement of living life with someone by your side. With my experience, sometimes people only express love in other situations. Sometimes you only show love when something dramatic happens, and you realize you need the partner. In my life sometimes what reminds me of the love I feel is when I get so angry, tired, and confused. I find myself lying in bed anxiously thinking out of all the hurt I should walk away. Yet, that tug on my heart. That thought of life alone. The knot in my throat when I begin to say “It’s Over. This is it.” That’s when I feel it. That’s when I remember I love him so much I must stay. That’s the worse kind of love. Love that starts at yours tears but changes the feeling of your heart. Love is a confusing, yet precious gift. When I awake in the morning I am anxious to talk to him. I want to call him, tell him good morning, and talk sweet with him. At school I just seem to think about how much I do care about him, and when I can see him. In the hallways I see other couples and I catch myself begin to wish he was with me at that instance. I hear other girls rambling on about their relationships, and I miss when he was mine. It seems the stress of everything in our lives have he and I apart. I catch myself everyday trying to do something to let him know how much love I have for him. I prove to him daily that he is the only one I want to be with. Then I hear it. It feels as if im lying under an old abandoned house a brick has just been thrown on me. The brick has landed hard upon my chest and now its hard to breathe. Out of panic my heart begins to race, and with every thump my breathing gets a little harder. Suddenly, I feel numb, motionless. I just lie there. Then the sick feeling comes. The feeling some get when there is a tornado in the area, I discover a weak, nauseas feeling. My mind begins to race trying to put all the puzzle pieces together in my head. I have just heard bad news, and not sure how to take it. The first instinct is to call him and ask him if what I’ve heard is true. Has he really done this? Said that? Does he really like her? But the love comes in and reminds me to be patient.